A young colleague asked me casually “Whom do you like the most?”I stared at her and gave a blatant smile as answer. When same question was repeated the next day, though irritated,my reply was the same as before. But this time, the question chose to stay with me. It kept knocking my head. “Whom do I like the most?”....”Whom do I like the most?”.... Arising another question “Whom should I like the most?”
The “I” in me started deciphering answers of all kinds. As a kid my mother was the one whom I liked the most. I have even starved once to make her wear a new saree and look good. No matter who ever it may be if they were not kind to my mother I have hated them by all means. Even at times my dad had been on that list. But is that the same today? My mother is the same but I am not. Will I starve now to see her dressed well? I cannot skip even an hour as my gastrics won't support. It's not that my emotion towards my mother changed,but priorities did with time. Our needs and priorities even make us stay away for months and years from those, without whom we believed a single day cannot move on. “Like and Love are emotional things don't materialise it” might be the voice of many who read this. But is it not true that emotion and materialism both share the same “T” that is time.
Time shapes everything. Your likes takes many shapes with time. The like you had for your mother takes a jolt when wife comes into your life. Wife takes a seat back when kids strole in. “How silly?” “My heart has space for everyone” may be the reader's reflux. Yes, heart keeps everyone and everything but who occupies the front seat is the question. “Whom do you like the most?” bangs.
Parents, Siblings, Friends, Crush, Wife, Children, Grandchildren everyone take the front seat in their own time and turn. But they all get their priorities when “I” need them the most. The “I” in us decides our likes and dislikes. It's the “I” which we always try to cherish, comfort, cradle, convince, and even camouflage throughout our life.
Many saints and philosophers preached against “I”, but it had always stayed with us covertly and dominantly. Hence I have my answer for the question “Whom do you like the most?” Those who contribute to keep me happy, safe, wealthy, healthy, secured, confident, brave, amused at different times of life, had been the most liked. In other words I have liked those who fulfilled my needs in different ways at different times.
A fine example being me realised that my daughter replaced my mother gradually over time. It’s not that mothers can be replaced but the warmth of motherhood which I need at this age and time is found in a different person. My needs decide my likes, as “I” am the one whom I like the most.
This writeup may not go well with many as love, like and need are seen mostly as separate things and comparing first two with need is considered inhumane and even a sin. But I wish to be rationale and honest in expressing what I believe as it has always been...
A thought the other way round
